“German researchers argue that sexual frustration is a complex phenomenon not to be underestimated, according to a report on Spiegel Online International. According to the study, part of University of Göttingen psychologist Ragnar Beer’s Theratalk Project, of almost 32,000 men and women, the lack of sex can precipitate a downward spiral, pulling couples into a vortex of all work and no play, literally.” FOXNew
Beer’s team found that 36 percent of men and 35 percent of women who have sex only once a week take on extra work to compensate for their wanting sex life. It’s even worse for the hapless couples who have altogether lost their eye for one another. Forty-five percent of men and 46 percent of women who no longer have sex with their partner seek out other activities to salve their wanting libidos. Interestingly, a mere five percent of people who have sex at least twice a week find other activities as outlets for frustration. Beer warns couples to keep an eye on their sexual satisfaction, “rather than wait until it’s too late.”
I see this as related to the downward spiral often caused by the basic differences between men and women on sex. As a generalization, Men are released to give love through sex, and women are release to have sex through love. So if a man withholds love or a woman withholds sex, then the relationship will start what I call the “Spiraling Vortex of Doom.” At some point in every marriage this will happen. What it takes is for one of the spouses to have grace and show the other one unconditional love. What does that mean? It often means doing for our spouse what we would rather not do. What this can result in is a “Spiraling Vortex of Joy.”
How can we defend ourselves from the Spiraling Vortex of Doom? Well if you have not started down the spiral, you are in great luck. Just do not stop showing love to your spouse. Date each other on a regular bases. Go on a 2nd, 3rd, or what ever honeymoon. I encourage all couples to go on a Marriage conference at least every few years. Kelly and I try to go on one every year.
Recommended Reading:
